Voodoo

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Voodoo

Hey, all I can say is: if I was able to read it and get out a good laugh, EVEN THOUGH it's about Relena.....YOU should find it at LEAST slightly entertaining. But whatever, I didn't write it, so don't kill me.....*cringes*

*******************

A businesswoman, Dorothy, was getting ready to go on a long business trip. She knew her wife, Relena, was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so she thought she’d buy her a little something to keep her occupied while she was gone.

She went to a store that sold sex toys and started to look around. She thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another woman for her. She was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please her wife, and started talking to the owner, an old man named Duke Dermail, behind the counter. She explained her situation.

"Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except…" and he stopped. "Except what?" Dorothy asked. "Nothing, nothing." "C’mon, tell me! I need something!" "Well, miss, I don’t usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis." "So what’s up with this Voodoo Penis?" she asked. Duke Dermail reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.

Dorothy laughed, and said "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!" Duke Dermail replied, "But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet." He pointed to the door and said "Voodoo Penis, the door." The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out if its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said, "Voodoo Penis, return to box!" The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more.

"I’ll take it!" said Dorothy. The old man resisted, saying it wasn’t for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an imitation Rolex. Dorothy took it home to Relena, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch." She left for her trip satisfied that things would be fine while she was gone. After she’d been gone a few days, Relena was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said, "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!" The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Dorothy had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road.

Police officer Wufei saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven’t had anything to drink, officer. You see, I’ve got this Voodoo penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!" Wufei looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right…Voodoo Penis, my ass!" -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sphynx: Duo, I SWEAR I'll let you blow up this fic......but AFTER the readers have read it at least once, okay?

Duo: *grumble, snarl, hiss, spit, sneer* fiiiiiiiine...............


	The Anime Nirvana \| home Voodoo Hey, all I can say is: if I was able to read it and get out a good laugh, EVEN THOUGH it's about Relena.....YOU should find it at LEAST slightly entertaining. But whatever, I didn't write it, so don't kill me.....cringes ******************* A businesswoman, Dorothy, was getting ready to go on a long business trip. She knew her wife, Relena, was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so she thought she’d buy her a little something to keep her occupied while she was gone. She went to a store that sold sex toys and started to look around. She thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another woman for her. She was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please her wife, and started talking to the owner, an old man named Duke Dermail, behind the counter. She explained her situation. "Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except…" and he stopped. "Except what?" Dorothy asked. "Nothing, nothing." "C’mon, tell me! I need something!" "Well, miss, I don’t usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis." "So what’s up with this Voodoo Penis?" she asked. Duke Dermail reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. Dorothy laughed, and said "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!" Duke Dermail replied, "But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet." He pointed to the door and said "Voodoo Penis, the door." The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out if its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said, "Voodoo Penis, return to box!" The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more. "I’ll take it!" said Dorothy. The old man resisted, saying it wasn’t for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an imitation Rolex. Dorothy took it home to Relena, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch." She left for her trip satisfied that things would be fine while she was gone. After she’d been gone a few days, Relena was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said, "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!" The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Dorothy had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. Police officer Wufei saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven’t had anything to drink, officer. You see, I’ve got this Voodoo penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!" Wufei looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right…Voodoo Penis, my ass!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Back to 'Written by others' Sphynx: Duo, I SWEAR I'll let you blow up this fic......but AFTER the readers have read it at least once, okay? Duo: grumble, snarl, hiss, spit, sneer fiiiiiiiine...............