The Anime Nirvana     |   home tunafish Back to Extras hehehe....just a little disguise in the title there.  Didn't want you to get to the fic early.  the introduction is too funny to miss, don't you agree? well, without further ado...it is our pleasure to present: The Incessant Ramblings of Kyra and Jeri      There once was a guy named Trunks, and he was really cute and he was mine. My name is Kyra, and Trunks is mine. Hear that? MINE!!! Bwahahahahahahahaha*gasp*MHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, we were once part of an elite group of anti-terrorists called the...um, uh...hold on a second *cough* well, I'll just come back to you on that one. SO...uh, one day, the uh, group that I'm in...we uh, had a party. Uh, what happened during this party I'm afraid to tell you, just in case you have any sanity left in you, uh, I wouldn't want you to lose it.  ***A SCREAM IS HEARD AS KYRA IS WHACKED OVER THE HEAD WITH A COCONUT***      *AHEM!!! * So, on with the story. My name is Jeri, and I'll be taking over. Kyra is currently experiencing some *ahem* technical difficulties. I think that coconut hit her a little harder than I intended it to. The party, let's see...hmm...Oh, THAT party! Well, let me tell you about this little party of ours. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood, and, well, come to think of it, I couldn't really see out the window that day...ANYWAY; let's think of all who was there. There was Trunks, of course *Kyra grins in her comatose state* *Jeri rolls her eyes* and Heero (*evil grin from Jeri*), Duo, Eiji, Kayin, Hotohori, Chichiri, Terry (Batman), Ashitaka, Rowan, Tasuki, Darien, Dart, Zidane, Serge, Squall, Blank, Ryo, Ryu, Harry McDougal, Jean Starwind, Matt Yamato, Gohan, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Yaten, Seiya (in their male forms), Zelgadis (as a human), Goku, Vegeta (only because of his tight ass), Gogeta, Vegetto (four times the fun!), Miliardo, Cye, Kento, Sage, Helios, Inu-Yasha, Shippo, Sho, Ferio, Tenchi, Nobyuki(younger form), Akira, Fou-Lu, us of course *smiles*   Robyn, Blaze, Cheyenne, Zorn and Thorn, Uranus, Sophia, Tracy, Lina, Gourry, Xellos, Sapphire, Brock, Angel, Seifer, Irvine, Zell, Pheonix, all the cool girl anime characters of which would take too long to name, and I think that's it...I could be wrong but that was a lot of people so I think I'll just stop now and get it on...uh, I mean get on with the story. (Heero pouts and a ~zip~ is heard) We would like to thank Washu...ahem, Lil' Washu...the greatest mad scientist in the universe, who made it possible to transport so many characters from so many different animes and fit them into one room. WE LOVE YOU WASHU!!! YAY!!! (The sound of chibification and grand applause is heard)      Jeri and Kyra: ON WITH THE STORY!!! P.s. We really mean it this time, unless you want to know what we had to eat for breakfast today...just kidding, a ha ha *sobs*      Kyra was off in her own little world when- Kyra: wait a minute! Who the hell says that my world is LITTLE? It's NOT little! Besides, it's not the size that counts; it's the quality of it all! Jeri: Sure, Kyra. and that's not ALL that's LITTLE around here! Kyra: You leave Trunks out of this! He didn't do anything to you! Jeri: he he he he he he he he he Kyra: Besides, if you haven't noticed, your boyfriend wears what, SPANDEX, every day! I think that he's experienced a little...ahem, SHRINKAGE lately! There's no bump! It's just...not there! *Glares evilly*  Jeri: *chibifies* It's there; you just can't see it really well! Honest, I've seen it, its just as big as um...Tasuki's!  Kyra: WHAT?!?!?! AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!?!?! *Turns red from her fury and whips out her Rubber Chicken Filled With Rocksã and threatens to whap Jeri over the head with it* Jeri: *smirks* What's a matter, Kyra-Chan? Haven't seen it yet? Too busy with Trunks? Kyra: Well, yes and no. Think about it, how ELSE do I spend my time? Anyway, NO I haven't seen it, I'm waiting until just the right moment. Jeri: You mean when he's plastered? Is THAT when you're gonna look? Well, don't waste your time, I've already seen it. Besides, it's really hard to get him drunk anyway. It's a waste of good booze. Kyra: Relax, Jeri. We can always get some more from Ryoko. You know she has an endless supply of it. Jeri: WHAT?! You mean to tell me that she has an endless supply of hot anime guys?! I want some! Kyra: *sweat drop* no, you MORON! She has an endless supply of booze, that's what I meant! Jeri: oh, I want some of that, too. But an endless supply of hot anime guys would be good, too. Kyra: *gets really angry* Why do I even bother with you? Jeri: Cuz you love me! *chibifies, again* Kyra: *screams as she chases chibi-Jeri around the page, swinging her Rubber Chicken Filled With Rocksã threateningly in the air* Jeri:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEERO, HELP ME! Heero: *snorts* uh, what? Huh? Waz goin' on, now? Oh, to hell with it. *grabs another beer from the fridge and chugs it, then promptly passes out* Kyra: *cackles evilly as she whaps Jeri on the head and sends her flying across the page* Oops! Did I do that? He he he he he*ow* he he he he*ow* Jeri: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha*whack*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha*whack* Kyra: *Runs around in little circles as a barrage of coconuts fly in her direction* Trunks help! Trunks: Uh, okay *whack* a coconut just misses hitting him on the head and instead lands on Zell, knocking him out*oops! Sorry, man! I'm coming, Kyra! Kyra: *dreamy smile* Catch me, Trunks! *whack* Trunks: Ouch, that's gotta hurt *stares on as a Really Really Big Coconutâ lands on Kyra, knocking her out* Oh, well *takes another sip of his martini* Treize: Hey! That's MY martini! Give it back, come on! *whines as he jumps to try to reach the martini glass, Trunks shakes his head as he instantly teleports to a different area of the room, Treize falls back to the ground, getting a good taste of the carpet* *On the other side of the room, Kyra is slowly recovering from her coconut induced coma. Just as she wakes up, Trunks reappears at her side. Little hearts appear in her eyes and she promptly proceeds to glomp the saiyan, catching him off guard.* Trunks: sadlhasdlgihaweuhalkdughroiualoisdugpdvjanlureaudighasdf!!!!!!! Kyra: What? Speak English! Trunks: * Coughs and picks white fur from his shirt, then sneezes quietly. * I've really got to stop hanging around that damn half-breed dog demon. Where is Inu-Yasha anyway? * grumbles something about allergies.* *Inu-Yasha appears and mumbles something about unworthy earthlings and storms out of the house with Kagome over his shoulder kicking and screaming that she was having too much fun with Xellos. * Jeri and Heero approach the group. Jeri has a silly stupid grin on her face (as usual when she's with Heero) Jeri: Hey giys, ya gots to half shum a thas boothez that's tem got hereee. They dun rale grood wishth za flava. *casts a sideways glance at Heero and licks her lips. * *A creaking is heard as the undertaker stumbles in with two kegs of beer. Small bubbles escape from his mouth. * Kyra (sarcastically): Attention K-mart shoppers, if you are under the legal drinking age of 13, please exit the building in an orderly fashion. Seeing as the rest of us are about to get smashed. Oh yeah, and you have to have a human form to stay as well!!!!!!! Grumbles are heard as Gohan, T.K, the undertaker, the grim reaper, carbuncle, Diablo, Ifrit, Shiva, Kenohki, Zorn, Thorn, Shessomaru, Ryo-ohki, Ellis, Gotenks, Goten, Odin, Pegasus, Shippo, and Whatever, proceed to exit the building in a not-so-orderly fashion. Duo: Hey man, sorry you have to leave! Whatever: whatever An hour later... Everyone with the exception of Kyra, Jeri, Trunks, Hotohori, Heero, Eiji, Kayin, Rowan, Blank, Ashitaka, Duo and Chichiri, and a few others that I can't think of right now, have either left or are too drunk to function. After wandering around bored, Chichiri decided to get the remaining sober people to play a happy little game of suck n' blow. (And for all of the perverts out there, this game does not involve getting naked!) Jeri pouts and snaps her fingers in disappointment *sniff * In the middle of the game, a fight breaks out over who gets to sit next to Kyra. This fight mainly involves Trunks, Kayin and Rowan, after about five minutes of brawling; Kyra ends up standing in-between Trunks and Kayin. Kyra: Hey, where's Rowan? She glances over and spots Rowan cowering in the corner, sucking his thumb and sniffling. Kyra: (angrily) All right, you guys. What did you do to him? Trunks and Kayin: Nothing! Jeri: It's okay, Rowan. You can sit by me. Rowan: Um, okay... Rowan hesitantly approaches her, but jumps back in fear when faced with two of Jeri's most faithful bishonen, Heero and Eiji. Rowan: um, thanks but no thanks, Jeri-chan. I think I'll pass. I'm just gonna go sit in this here corner and have a good cry. Y'all have fun with your little game there. I'll catch you later. The blue-haired bishonen glumly retreated back to the corner and resumed sniffling, holding his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth. Jeri rolled her eyes and fixed the two bullies with a patented Death Glareâ . She then threw her hands into the air in surrender and rejoined the game. Five minutes into the game: Trunks: Hey! You cheated! That card wasn't up there for two seconds! Kayin: Bull shit, dude! You're just jealous that I got to kiss her. *Trunks mumbles as he realizes that Kayin's right.  Kyra smiles dreamily as she recalls how it had felt to kiss Kayin. Jeri walks over and whaps her upside the head, then stomps back to her place standing in-between Heero and Eiji. Kyra grimaces and rubs the growing bump on her head, throwing a death glare in the brunette's direction. Heero: Gross, man! Why'd you have to drop the blasted thing? I'm not that way, you know! Duo: Yeah right, we all know that you were checking me out the other day...admit it. Chichiri: Hey, are we gonna play? 'Cause this is kinda boring. No da! Ashitaka: I'll play, but only if His Majesty over there will put down that damned mirror. Jeri: Well, Hotohori? You gonna take the card or not? Hotohori: Hello, reflection...you're so beautiful, did you know that? Kyra: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *whack* *Kyra charges Hotohori and smacks him over the head with his mirror * Duo: Ha ha...you got hit on the head with your mirro-ow! Goddammit, who hit me? *Heero whistles innocently, a giant hammer behind his back* The tension in the room is suddenly broken as Helios comes charging through (in his human form) Helios: I'M A PONY, I'M A PONY! Everyone else: WE KNOW!!!!!!!! Helios, looking hurt, slowly shuffles back out of the room. After that little incident, silence follows. No one spoke for quite a while, their tempers on edge and ready to erupt. Jeri suddenly snaps her fingers and smirks evilly. Jeri: Hey! I know what'll cheer y'all up right away! I'll tell a joke! It's really funny. I promise...What's one of the funniest things that the world has ever seen? She looks around anxiously as the others just stare at her with blank looks on their faces. Jeri throws up her hands in frustration. Shortly after she whistles shrilly. Jeri: Hey! Trowa! The kitchen's on fire, and Quatre's still in there! Everyone looks on in bewilderment as Trowa Barton comes running into the room on his way to the kitchen two rooms down. They become even more bewildered when they realize that he's wearing his clown costume, the reason why, being beyond anyone's comprehension. Jeri points towards the emerald-eyed one, trying not to laugh. Before she burst out laughing, she looked back at the others. Jeri: See? It's a running gag! Crickets can be heard chirping in the background and a small cough escapes from Kyra's mouth. Kyra: Should we leave her that way? Jeri is seen rolling on the ground, accompanied by the sound of  her spastically insane laughter. Whatever (peeking though a window): whatever Kyra: Hey! What'n the blue blazes'r you doin' here?  Kyra dashes to the window and whips out her Rubber Chicken Filled With Rocksã, sending Whatever into the air and causing him to land who knows where. Whatever (yelling as he is shot through the air): Whaaaaateeeevveeeerrr...... All thoughts seem to trail off at this point as Jeri has fallen asleep on Kyra's couch and is utterly brain-dead. In her sleep she mutters something about playdough .Kyra chucks a pillow in Jeri's face. Kyra: hey moron, wake up. We're in the middle of a party. Jeri: ug...playdough...ug...flaffel...grrrrrrrrr Kyra sweat drops and looks at the others apologetically. Heero: IF YOU'RE THAT TIRED GO TO BED. THE REST OF US ARE HAVING FUN!!! Jeri seems to perk up quickly and drags  Heero away by the waist. Heero: huh? Jeri: Okay, lets go to bed. Heero: WHAT!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO! I meant for you to go to bed alone Jeri: But Heero, I lost my teddy bear, can't I just sleep with you? Heero: uhhhhhhhh...HEY LOOK IT'S DILANDAU!!!! Jeri: WHERE?! Dilandou is seen sitting in the corner, drinking sake with a very drunk Ryoko and Tasuki. They are singing incoherently and swaying together in their drunken stupor. In the backgound Heero is seen running to the window. Heero: Whatever! Wait for meeeeeee.. Heero is almost to the window sill when Jeri grabs him by the back of his tank top and drags him back into the room. Jeri: Come on teddy, it's bed time Heero: NOOOOOOO* gasp* NOOOOOOOOOOOO.. wait a minute YEESSSSSSSSSSSS! WoooHOOO! Chichiri: Hey guys, whose up for a glass of Vegeta Beta, no da! (for those of you who are clueless, Vegeta Beta is a Japanese health drink that is really really really good. ^we tried in the Epcot drinky thingy @ Disney world^) Kyra and Jeri whirl around to face him. Small streams of drool drip from the corner of their mouths. Chichiri gulps and slowly starts backing away. Jeri and Kyra are approaching him like zombies. Kyra and Jeri (chanting): vegetabetavegetabetavegetabetavegetabeta. Vegta: Dammit women, why do you keep saying my name!? Kyra and Jeri turn in their trance to face the saiyan. Kyra and Jeri (chanting): tight-ass tight-ass tight-ass tight-ass Heero: Wait! You forgot Teddy... Jeri shakes of the trance for a moment and smiles brightly. Jeri: Don't worry Teddy, I'll be right back...WITH SNACKS!!!!! * drool * beef jerky, pocky, popcorn, gummi worms, whipped cream and (drum roll, please) CHOCOLATE SYRUP!!! (you thought I was going to say Vegeta Beta didn't you) A loud cheering is heard from the other room. Apparently, Harry McDougal is attempting to crowd surf. Harry: WoooHOOOOOOOO! The crowd parts beneath him and the floor is now his only cushion Harry: WHAAAAAAAAAAAA! Kyra runs in at the last moment. Kyra: Don't worry Harry, I'll save you. BOOF!!!!!! Harry has landed on Kyra. Her hands are the only thing visible, they twitch feebly from underneath him. Trunks, Kayin, Ashitaka  and Hotohori: HEY!!! GET OFF HER YOU BLUE-HAIRED, PINK-BOWED PANSY!!!!! Harry blushes for a moment, then jumps up and dusts himself off.  He clears his throat and starts to walk away from the angry bishonen.  Unbeknownst to him, the first step that Harry takes just happens to be right, smack on top of Kyra's head. Kyra:  Oowww..... Jeri:  Ha ha...oh, that's gotta hurt.   Jeri scratches her chin momentarily, then shrugs and storms out of the room, Heero's green tanktop clutched tightly in her hand (Heero's still in the tanktop, just in case you were getting confused.  Come to think of it, he probably won't be in it for much longer...eeewwww.....) Jeri:  Let's go, Teddy.  It's bedtime. Heero a.k.a. Teddy:  yay! They disappear into a small room and aren't seen for quite a LONG time. Everybody looks confused for a moment as to where the conversation had left off.  In the background, Harry is silently trying to make his escape.  He tiptoes a few feet towards the door, but is yanked backwards by someone pulling his hair. He looks behind him and is not very glad to see Kayin standing above him, a katana in his hand.  The blonde bishonen smirks evilly and yanks on Harry's hair. ***WARNING:  The following context of this fanfic is about to contain a number of foul, swear words and insulting put-downs.  For those of you who dislike any derogatory terms being used freely, please stop reading now.  For those of you who couldn't give a flying f**k, read on!*** Kayin:  Say goodbye you son of a bit- Wufei (storming into the room):  KISAMA!  GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD, YOU PRICK!  THIS IS INJUSTICE, I TELL YOU!  MOTHER-FUCKING INJUSTICE! Sally Po smacks her forhead with her hand and backhands the Chinese bishonen, sending him flying across the room.  She looks over at Kayin apologetically and stomps after Wufei, wherever he might have landed. Sally:  Don't mind him, he just found out that I accidently put his dragon underwear in the dryer and they shrunk...actually, I didn't say anything, okay?  Carry on. She hurries off to another room, leaving Kayin still holding Harry by the ponytail, ready to slice his blue locks. Kayin:  Ahem!  As I was saying...say goodbye, you son of a bitc- Kayin is again interrupted as Hotohori runs in-between them and smacks the katana out of Kayin's hand, protecting Harry, or perhaps his HAIR, from any further harm. Kayin:  WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!  I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE!! Hotohori:  I am, but I think that you could deal with him in a less-violent way. Kayin:  How was I being violent?  Well, besides threatening to cut his hair off and all... Hotohori:  That's what I'm talking about!  How dare you, trying to cut off a man's beautiful hair and all...that's low, that's just sick.  You should know what I'm talking about, you don't exactly have a buzzcut!  The only way you can get to his hair is through me... The emperor stands boldly in front of Kayin, staring at him defiantly.  Much to both of their surprise, Hotohori is accompanied by Miliardo, Duo, Gourry, Yaten, Seiya, Damion and Allen.  They all rush to the emperor's side and face Kayin, daring him to take a step closer. Kayin sweatdrops and smacks his forhead with his hand, shaking his head in dismay.  He throws his hands into the air and stomps off. Kayin: WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?! Kiara waltzes in suddenly and appears at Kayin's side, patting him on the shoulder sympathetically. Kiara:  I ask myself the same question alllllllllll the time.(1)  You just can't win, they're so stubborn.  So instead of worrying about it...how about having a glass of sake or two with me and the guys? Kayin ponders this for a while, then shrugs and walks off with her.  In the process of him exiting, Kayin throws his hands in the air, tossing the katana upwards.  A few feet over, Harry is looking quite relieved at the change of events, he sighs and closes his eyes, slowing his heartbeat.  A sound above him disturbs his peace and the blue-haired bishie looks up.  The blade of the katana races towards him and sticks straight up in the carpet, just inches from his head.  Harry's eyes widen and he breathes a sigh of relief, standing up and dusting himself off.   He opens his mouth to say something to everybody else when his eyes meet their horrified stares.  He takes a deep breath and reaches behind him, grabbing his ponytail.  Harry is relieved to know that his beautiful hair is still okay.  His relief turns to horror as he drags his hand downward, hand still grasping onto his hair.  Instead of the hair slipping through his fingers, the ponytail does something most unexpected...it detaches from the roots and stays in his hand.  Harry's eyes widen in shock when he realizes that his hair was just cut off at length, his layered blue hair now swishing freely just below his chin. Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the other bishonen gasp as Harry McDougal promptly proceeds to faint, his body falling to the floor with a loud THUMP! Kyra is seen in various places throughout the next hour. Sobbing in a corner, blasting holes through the wall.... and for the longest time, in the corner with Tasuki and Ryoko. Kyra: Dammit, THAT'S IT! I can't take it anymore!!!! Kyra stomps from the room as Tasuki, Ryoko, Trunks and various others watch bewildered at her sudden change of character. Moments later a door is kicked down and Kyra glares angrily at the occupants of the room... Kyra: Who the hell do you think you are huh!? Jeri rolls over sleepily and drapes an arm over a snoring Heero. Her nonchalant reply serves only to anger a VERY, VERY, VERY drunk Kyra further. Kyra: You knew this was going to happen didn't you!!!? You planned it all, you planted the sword so that Kaiyan would find it!!! Come on, admit it. Why! Why would you do this to Harry's beautiful hair?! Kyra holds up the severed pony tail and stares miserably at it... Before Jeri can even open her mouth Kyra rambles on again... Kyra: Some friend you are, you can't even spell my name right! Kiara, humph. You'll pay for this. A volley of paintballs is suddenly launched at the bed as Jeri shrieks and holds Heero in a sitting position as a human shield. Jeri: What are you doing!? *Splat * Thats it you're gonna pay for this! Jeri peels the paintball from her forehead and climbs out of bed, wrapping a sheet around herself and takes on a fighting stance. Kyra is cackling wildly and shooting the orange and green balls everywhere. Heero has grabbed a pillow and is holding it over his lap and is inching towards the bathroom door to escape. Jeri leaps at Kyra and the supernatural struggle begins. Kyra is left holding the hande of the gun and Jeri has the barrel. Under the extreme force of the struggle, the gun snaps in half and the warriors are completely covered in orange and green paint. The force of the explosion has thrown Jeri into the bed and Kyra into the wall. Kyra drags herself to her feet first and blinking dizzily stares at Jeri, and then looks down at herself. Jeri is doing much the same thing. Both of them seeming to come to their senses, burst out laughing. Kyra: You look *gasp * like a pumpkin!!!!! Jeri: Swamp thing has *gasp * infiltrated my room. The two collapse back to back gasping for air after their spastic laughter. Kyra looks around the room and smiles wearily at the damage. Kyra: Oh man, hey wait a minute.... Looky there... Jeri: What? Kyra: What's on the wall? There's something over there... Jeri(not bothering to look for herself): Well what's it look like? Kyra: I don't know.... uh oh *giggles *, I think teddy needs a bath. At this Jeri turns to see a shocked Heero clasping a pillow to himself leaning against the wall. He is completely covered from head to toe in green paint, making it hard to recognize him. Jeri looks back at Kyra and smiles. Kyra: I think I'm going to go clean up now, and you should probably find Heero. *winks at Jeri and strolls out of the room * Jeri stands and approaches Heero, smiling wickedly... Jeri: Come on Teddy, it's bath time... After a few moments, Jeri pokes her head out from behind the bathroom door and looks around. Jeri:  Um, I don't think you want to read about what's going to happen next, so...you can go somewhere else for a moment if you want to..... Enormous Crowd of Hentais:  YOU SUCK.........BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeri scrambles back into the bathroom in an attempt to dodge various objects being thrown in her direction, but manages to escape only after getting hit in the head with an enormous cantaloupe.   Jeri:  aklsdfjhasdjfalkdsjflkjdsakljhfjasjhdfklasjhdflasdhfuiasdhfuiawsytreuiopwyrasoiehfmaxnvxcmvgkjhfewsorhasdhfaklsjhdf............ ............................(muttering incoherently) **************************** Meanwhile, in another empty room a ways away from the others, Duo and Trowa were just about to start a game of pool.  Trowa had asked Duo earlier if the American pilot had ever played before, which had resulting in Duo laughing his head off and then warning Trowa that he was good at it.  Nevertheless, the two pilots agreed to give it a go, skeptical at the possibility of the other being even slightly good at anything besides killing people for no reason. Trowa:  Hold on a sec, I have an idea.  Instead of playing for fun, how about a bit of a wager. Duo:  What's the bet?.......You break. Trowa pretended to think about it, hoping Duo wouldn't see through the act as he turned and chose a stick. Trowa: Well, best out of three for the winner, but what if we had something for each ball sunk? Duo: Like what? Trowa: If I get a ball in, you take a drink. I do the same when you get one, and if one of us sinks one of the other person's balls, we have to take three. Duo: That's not fair for you, is it? I mean, you're drinking hard liquor. Trowa: Yes, but I have a high tolerance for alcohol. I used to go out drinking with some of the guys at the circus every other weekend. Besides, the drinks don't have to be *that* big. Duo: Okay, but what does the winner get? The one who wins two out of three, I mean. Trowa: I don't know. Why don't we leave it in the air. You know, the loser has to do one thing for the winner. Out of nowhere, Quatre peeks his head in from a nearby door, an exasperated look on his face.  He looks frantically at Duo, then Trowa, his eyes bulging and his lips pursed into a frustrated line. Quatre:  WILL YOU DO SO KINDLY AS TO EITHER TELL ME WHY THE HELL YOU KEEP SAYING MY NAME OR SHUT THE HELL UP?!?!?!  IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING OVER HERE, YOU KNOW!!!!! WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO?!?! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO OPEN A BOOK OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!(2) Trowa and Duo look at each other with confused expressions, then shrug and resume their game of pool. Duo:  I don't know what you're talking about, Q......but you need to calm it down, you're scaring me. Trowa:  What did he say?  Something about....books? Quatre:  I SAID OPEN A BOOK!!!! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!!! Duo turns to look at Trowa again, then over at the psychotic blonde, an eyebrow raised. Duo:  What?! Quatre:  OPEN A BOOK, THAT'S ALL I ASK!!!! Trowa:  What?! Quatre:  ARGH!  WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?! Amid the commotion, Panther and Bloodberry walk in from the other door, obviously wanting to know who was shouting and why. Panther:  What's going on here?  Who the fuck is shouting? Bloodberry:  Yeah, it's really hard to do anything around here with someone screaming their head off at this hour. Duo:  It's Q, you guys....he's flipped.   Panther:  ....again? Trowa:  Yeah, but for different reasons, I think.  He keeps saying something about a crook, or something..... Quatre:  I JUST ASKED THEM TO GO OPEN A BOOK, SO THEY CAN LEAVE EVERYBODY ELSE ALONE!!! NOW IT THAT SO HARD, GUYS?!  COME ON.....YOU CAN DO IT, IT'S SO EASY! Duo, Trowa, Panther and Bloodberry:  What?! Quatre:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duo, Trowa, Panther, and Bloodberry all look on in astonishment as the blonde pilot grabs his head in frustration, looking like he'd pull his hair out.  He throws his arms into the air and runs in the opposite direction, mumbling something about playing his violin. Panther: um, on second thought, you guys....I think there's a really good movie playing in the other room.  C'mon, Bloodberry, you're watching it with me. Bloodberry: But why?! I'm so good at pool! Panther:  Stop whining!  You're coming with me.  Besides, I think I recall Otaru saying he was going to watch the movie as well. Bloodberry:  Woooo!! Which way to the movie?  I'm comin' in! Panther:  *sigh* Trowa and Duo look on as the two bishujo march off in the opposite direction. Duo: oh well, let's just keep playing.  I'm winning, anyways. Trowa: No, sir, you are not!  Get outta my way and let me shoot! ******************************************************* Jeri was discovered wandering about the house, a glazed look in her eyes.  She yawned and stretched her arms over her head, reaching back to tie her hair into a tight braid.  The brunette turned right into the recreation room, hoping to find something there to do.  Her emerald eyes landed upon Duo and Trowa, who were currently involved in a game of pool.  Duo was lining up a shot while Trowa downed a shot of what looked like whiskey. Jeri: Hey guys, what's up? Duo: Nuthin' much, we're just playing some pool. Trowa:  *staggers slightly*  Yeah, and I'm winning. Jeri: *evil grin* Sure, Trowa.  Can I play? Duo:  Okay, get a stick.  There's always room for one more. Duo looks over to see Trowa juggling about seven pool balls in the air.  The short-haired pilot had a giddy smile on his face, looking as if he didn't even know he COULD juggle. Jeri:  So...what's with Blinkey the clown?  He down too much booze or something? He's usually so plain-faced that a smirk would crack his face. Duo: We made a bet.  Every shot he sinks, he takes a drink.  Every one of my balls that he sinks on accident, he takes three.  He's right, you know:  he IS winning.  But I don't think it's a very good thing in his case.  It appears that the better he gets at it, the more and more plastered he becomes. Jeri: Oh, sounds like fun. Is it my turn? Duo: Yea, and you're stripes. Trowa needs some help. Jeri looked at the remaining pool balls, spotting the four, three, and five balls lined up in a beeline towards the right corner pocket. She grins evilly once again and takes her shot. The grin on her face widens when all three of them sink into the hole, along with the queue ball. She stands up and leans on her stick, raising an eyebrow in Duo's direction. Jeri: Oops, I just remembered that those weren't MY balls. What do I do again when I sink some of yours? Duo: Um, for every ball that you're not supposed to sink you take three shots. And that includes the queue ball. So, you take..........let's see...........twelve shots. Are you SURE you know what you're doing? Jeri: *maniacal grin* Of course, sugar. I always know what I'm doing. Now, where's the liquor? Trowa staggers over to the brunette, shoving a large bottle of tequila towards her. Jeri takes the bottle from the tall pilot, watching as he crashes to the floor. She's struck with surprise when the next sounds that come from Trowa are of him snoring. She shrugs and steps over him, pouring the liquid into the many shot glasses set on the nearby table. Her emerald eyes sparkle mischievously as she places the cap on the bottle and sets it aside. Without a second thought, Jeri takes one shot and downs it, slamming the empty glass on the table. Her eyes widen when the liquor hits her nerves, shaking her head a bit. Jeri: Shinalp, what the hell is in this? He messed with it, didn’t he? Duo: *evil smrik* I don’t know what you’re talking about. Keep going, there’s eleven more. I’ll be back in a second. Jeri: *crosses her eyes* fine, whatever. Duo laughs evilly as he bolts out of the room and runs into the bedroom that the brunette was previously in. He looks around and spots Heero, who is lying on his stomach and covering his head with a large pillow. The braided pilot walks over to the bed and grabs the pillow, whacking the Japanese pilot over the head with it. Heero grumbles a bit, then sits up, glaring at Duo. Heero: What do you WANT, you baka? Duo: *evil grin* Just wanted to tell you that your playmate is getting smashed, thought you might want to see it in case there is any bloodshed. Heero: Aww, man! She’s getting drunk NOW? It’s too early, I’m tired. Hey....where are my pants? Duo: I thought you didn’t wear pants, Heero. Heero: Well, where are my clothes, in general? Duo: I dunno, where’d you put them? Heero: I don’t remember, I was too preoccupied with other things. Duo: Spare me the details and look for your clothes. Heero: *death glare* How the hell am I supposed to know where they are? Jeri probably threw them somewhere. Duo: *scrounging around in a junk pile by the bed* I found some pants and a shirt, now put them on and let’s go. Heero: *double death glare* Gimme those. See? I DO wear pants, just not all the time. Where’d you say she is? Duo: Just c’mon and I’ll show you. Duo waits as Heero puts the clothes on, he then grabs the Japanese pilot’s wrist and drags him towards the room where Jeri is currently getting plastered. On their way, the two boys encounter Aisha, Washu, Uranus, Ume, Tomo, Lime, Noin and Sally sitting in a circle around the karaoke machine, discussing who goes next. Lime spots Heero and Duo and stands up, a confused look on her face. Lime: What’s going on, where’s the fire? Noin: *standing up* yeah, where’re you two headed? Duo: *jerking his head in the direction that they’re running* Jeri’s getting plastered. She’s currently downing twelve shots of tequila as we speak. Wanna come watch? Washu: Yeah! That sounds fun! C’mon, girls, let’s go! The eight women stand up and follow the two pilots, looks of excitement on their faces. They reach the recreation room shortly, looking around for the plastered brunette Gundam pilot. But she is nowhere in sight, much to the annoyance and distress of Heero. Heero: Where the hell did she go now? Duo: I dunno, she was here the last time I saw her. Heero: *walking up to see all twelve shot glasses are empty* Holy crap, Duo! We’ve only been gone about three minutes and she’s already finished all of her shots. Duo: *picking up the empty tequila bottle* Yeah, and it seems that she’s had this entire bottle, as well. Isn’t that a little dangerous? Heero: *smacking himself on the forehead* I KNEW I shouldn’t have let her leave the room without me! There’s no telling what she’s up to now. Duo: Hey, isn’t that her? Heero: *looking around* Where? I don’t see anyone, besides Trowa on the floor. Duo: I could've sworn I just saw her, but I guess it's only my imagination. But dude, we've seriously got to find her before something bad happens. Everyone starts looking around the rooms for any sign of the plastered brunette, yet finding her nowhere. Heero starts getting nervous as to what could happen if they don't find Jeri soon, he results to taking his anger out on anyone who gets near him, there are a few unconscious party guests before Duo manages to wrestle his gun away from him and threaten to tell everyone that he sleeps with a stuffed chibi Jeri doll if he doesn't calm down. After about half an hour of searching with no sign of the crazed Gundam pilot, they decide that she's probably already passed out and that they should stop looking for her and take a break. Heero had just flopped down on a couch in the living room when he hears some music blaring from the next room. Curious, the Japanese pilot jumps up and pokes his head in the doorway of the next room. What he sees almost makes his jaw drop. Heero: Duo, get over here! You've gotta see this, man! Duo: *standing next to Heero and looking into the room* I don't believe it.......she's still conscious?! After drinking so much liquor? Even Trowa went down after all that whiskey. But, man! I don't believe her! Heero: Aww, man! Now I have to stop her from waking the entire neighborhood! C'mon, I need your help with this. The two bishonen sweatdrop at the sight of a very smashed and very disoriented brunette is singing along with the karaoke machine, trying to dance but actually stumbling over furniture and passed out guests. At the moment, she's just beginning to sing a classic from the Beastie Boys, Fight for Your Right. The surprising thing is that even though she's pretty damn drunk, Jeri's singing perfectly in sync with the machine. In other words, she don't sound half bad. The brunette is head-banging to the beat, making an attempt at playing some air-guitar. She bobs her head as the intro continues, bringing the microphone towards herself. You wake up late for school, man, you don't wanna go You ask your mom "please?!" but she still says "NO!!!" You've missed two classes and no homework But your teacher preaches class like they're some kinda jerk To everyone's horror, Jeri whips a bottle of scotch from behind her back and takes a few swigs. Her eyes cross for a  moment as the alcohol hits her between the eyes, she grins stupidly and cries into the mic, You gotta fight For your right To paaaaaaaarrty! She sways her body this way and that, her hands over her head, which is flowing to the beat. She takes the bottle of scotch and hurls it to her left, the glass container coming in contact with the wall and shattering to pieces. You pops's caught you smoking and he says "No way!" That hypocrite smokes two packs a day Man, livin' at home is such a drag Now, you mom threw away your best porno mag (busted!) Heero rushes towards his inebriated girlfriend, catching her around the waist and trying to haul her away from the dreaded karaoke machine, yet without success. Jeri glares at him in her drunken stupor, placing her hands on his chest and shoving him out of the way. She then clutches the microphone as if it’s a lifeline, that stupid grin coming onto her face once again. She head-bangs for a moment, then shouts into the mic at the top of her lungs, You gotta fight For your right To party! You gotta fight! Everyone groans as the guitar solo approaches, watching as the intoxicated brunette puts the mic down and hops around the room, using her other leg as a guitar and head-bangs yet some more. [guitar break] She picks up the mic and dances a bit, looking through her audience and being completely oblivious to the specter she was making. Toss them outta this house if  that's the clothes you're gonna wear I'll kick you outta my home if you don't cut that hair You mom busted in and said "What's that noise?!" Awww, mom! You're just jealous, it's the Beastie Boys! You gotta fight For your right To party! You gotta fight For your right To party Paaaaaaaarrty! Paaaaaaaarrty! The song ends, much to the relief of the bystanders; Jeri turns the machine off and places the mic on top of it, laughing maniacally. She finally seems to notice the fact that she’s not the only one in the room, her green eyes glance at all of the guests staring at her, amused to a point of no return. She spots Heero and grins, running over towards the doorway and glomping the Japanese pilot, knocking him to the ground. Jeri: Did’ya like my schong, Hee-chan? Heero: *sweat-dropping* Uh, sure. But why don’t we go into the living room and get some rest, maybe play a quiet game? How about that? Jeri: *dreamy smile* Oooooookay. Le’zz go. But Hee-chan, can I get summpin’ ta eat firsht? I’m shtarvin‘. Unless you wann me ta be hungwy fah summptin’ elshe. You’re lookin’ realllllll tashtey riiiiigh’ abou’ now. *hungry stare* Heero: *double sweat-drop* Not now, Jeri. You go on ahead with Duo and all the nice people and lie down in the living room, I’ll fix ya up somethin’ good to eat. Go on, Duo will take you. Jeri: Ooooooookay, whatevah you say, Hee-koi. Heero’s sweat-drop almost fills up the entire room as he pushes Jeri towards Duo and, hopefully, the living room. The brunette giggles as she practically trips over her own feet, leaning onto the American pilot. After some skillful coaxing courtesy of Duo, Jeri finally stumbles out of the doorway and into the living room, where she flops onto the large couch that Heero had previously occupied.    To be continued, once I can pry my face away from the computer screen...^_^;;